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         2011年大å¦è‹±è¯å››å…çº§ç®—åˆ†æ ‡å‡†å�Šè¯„分细则
  2011å¹´06月大å¦è‹±è¯å››çº§è€ƒè¯•å®Œæ•´ç‰ˆç”æ¡ˆå�Šè§£æž�
  Part I Writing
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  Doing Shopping Online
  With the development of the Internet, shopping is no longer a tiring thing. Just click your mouse to choose the articles you like, and the purchase is done. You don't even have to step out of the room. It seems all easy and quick.
  However, people's opinions vary on this trend. Some believe that on line shopping is time and money saving. With plentiful selection options, they can buy whatever they like at any time convenient. Still others insist that mis-purchasing alone is annoying enough, not to mention the credibility of the sellers and the safety of their accounts.
  In my opinion, the convenience and excitement of on line shopping is beyond all doubts. In the meantime, we must always bear in mind that certain traps do exist, so we'd better make sure the sellers are trustworthy before buying. In addition, we should also guard ourselves from the potential hackers who might steal our account information.
ã€€ã€€æ–‡ç« ç‚¹è¯„ï¼š
  这是一篇“ä¸ç‰å��上â€�çš„å¦ç”Ÿä½œæ–‡ã€‚ 本文先对网è´çƒæ½®è¿›è¡Œç®€ä»‹ï¼Œå¼•出全篇;接ç�€å¯¹ç½‘络è´ç‰©çš„æ£å��两方é�¢è¿›è¡Œå¯¹æ¯”ï¼›å�Žæ��出自己的看法结æ�Ÿå…¨ç¯‡ã€‚整体看æ€�路清晰,逻辑严密,行文æµ�畅,用è¯è¾ƒä¸ºåœ°é�“。
  下é�¢è¯´ä¸€ä¸‹è¿™ç¯‡æ–‡ç« 的有待æ��高之处:
  1. æ–‡ç« ç»“æž„ä¸Šï¼Œèƒ½çœ‹å¾—å‡ºè¯¥å�Œå¦è¯•图采用议论文的“三段å¼�â€�(æ��出问题ã€�分æž�问题ã€�解决问题)。 但是,以“With the development of the Internetâ€�为开首è¯ï¼Œæœ‰äº›è�½å…¥ä¿—套,有硬套模æ�¿çš„嫌疑。ç¨�åŠ æ³¨æ„�,应该能写出更好的å�¥å�。
  2. 微观è¯è¨€ç‚¹æ–¹é�¢ï¼Œæœ‰äº›è¯å�¥ç¨�显啰嗦,比如With plentiful selection options… 简化æˆ�With plentiful selections… 更好,æ„�æ€�没有ä¸�毫å‡�æ�Ÿï¼Œè¡¨è¾¾åŠ›å��而增强许多;
  高分版
  With the help of the ever rapid development of internet technology, online shopping is coming into fashion in most of cities.
  Online shopping is welcomed by most people due to various reasons. From the perspective of consumer, it can save some time for people who don't have much spare time. Just click the mouse, they can get whatever they want while staying at home. For the retailers, it can cut some costs for those who don't have much circulating funds. They don't have to rent a house and spend money on employees compared with the traditional trade mode. However, there are still some defects in online shopping. First, lace of face to face deal makes online shopping less reliable and trustworthy. Second, people will lose the fun of bargain.
  It is undeniable that shopping on the internet has become an irresistible trend in modern society. It's of great urgency that we need to regulate the relative laws accordance with the rapid growth of online shopping. Only in this way can we enjoy the pleasure and convenience of online shopping without the concern of being treated.
  点评:
  本次四级作文探讨的是近的çƒç‚¹è¯�题之一——互è�”网网è´ã€‚ç›®å‰�网è´çš„风é�¡ç¨‹åº¦æ˜¯ä¼—æ‰€å‘¨çŸ¥ï¼Œå› æ¤ï¼Œè€ƒç”Ÿå¯¹äºŽè¯¥è¯�题还是比较熟悉的。但是,比较特殊的是,题干所列出的è¦�求的是考生从一个客观的角度æ�¥é˜�述该è¯�题,而ä¸�是简å�•陈述自己的æ„�è§�。所以,考生应当审清楚题,在写作时ä¸�ä»…ä»…è¦�列出网è´çš„优点,还必须给出相应的缺点。
  按照四级作文的�求,考生在段时应该总述现象并引出�题;
  第二段考生应当从æ£å��两方é�¢æ�¥è®ºè¿°ç½‘è´ï¼Œåˆ†åˆ«é“ºé™ˆå…¶ä¼˜ç¼ºç‚¹ï¼›å…³äºŽä¼˜ç‚¹ï¼Œç½‘è´çš„优点很多,考生å�¯æ‹©å…¶çª�出显著的方é�¢æ�¥é˜�述,比如说网è´å�¯ä»¥èŠ‚çœ�很多时间;网è´å�¯ä»¥èŠ‚çœ�很多æˆ�本开支ç‰ï¼›å…¶æ¬¡ï¼Œç¼ºç‚¹æ–¹é�¢è€ƒç”Ÿå�¯ä»¥æŠŠé‡�心放在诚信方é�¢ï¼›ä¸ºäº†ä¸�至于跟优点相比,缺点方é�¢å¤ªè½»ï¼Œè€ƒç”Ÿå�¯ä»¥è€ƒè™‘ç¨�å¾®æ��ä¸€ä¸‹å…¶ä»–ç¼ºç‚¹ï¼Œæ¯”å¦‚è¯´ä¸Žä¼ ç»Ÿè´ç‰©ç›¸æ¯”,网è´å°‘去了很多ç �ä»·çš„ä¹�趣;
  第三点è¦�求考生对于第二段列出的缺点给出自己的建议。æ¤å¤„我们å�¯ä»¥æ ¹æ�®ç¬¬äºŒæ®µåˆ—出的缺点方é�¢ç»™å‡ºç›¸åº”的防范应对措施。
  整篇作文�题比较好展开,难度�大,��考生审好题,列出相应点,相信作文�会他是难题。
  外教版
  Online shopping has been a boon to many industries and companies looking to expand their markets. Also, it's convenient for shoppers who are too busy to leave the house. However, in some cases nothing can replace a true face to face shopping experience.
  Internet shopping is convenient for the mothers who spend all day doing house chores and for the fathers who work a full-time job. On the other hand, there are limits to shopping online, for example: guessing the correct size of clothing on a computer screen can be very frustrating.
  For the busy mother and father, online shopping is a very useful and convenient tool. But, there are instances, like clothes shopping, where nothing beats the real thing.
  点评:
  作者在段æ��述了网è´ä½œä¸ºä¸€ç§�时尚给大家的生活带æ�¥äº†ä¾¿åˆ©ï¼Œç„¶å�Žè¯�锋一转,说网è´ä»�ç„¶å�–代ä¸�了é�¢å¯¹é�¢çš„è´ç‰©äº¤æµ�。
  第二段主è¦�还是从æ£å��两方é�¢åˆ†æž�了网è´çš„优势和ä¸�è¶³ï¼Œä»¥æ¤æ��述大家对网è´çš„ä¸�å�Œå��应。
  第三段作者表明了自己的观点,对网è´çš„便利和ä¸�足之处都å�šäº†æ��述。
  综å�ˆæ�¥è®²ï¼Œæœ¬ç¯‡æ–‡ç« 观点明确,结构清晰,è¯è¨€è¡¨è¾¾åœ°é�“,有ä¸�少闪光è¯�汇,但是,内容深度上æ�¥è®²è¿˜æœ‰äº›æ¬ 缺,å�¦å¤–,å�Žä¸€éƒ¨åˆ†è¡¨è¾¾ä¸ªäººè§‚点,和第二段ç¨�有é‡�å¤�。考生需è¦�注æ„�观点的清晰,ä¸�宜模棱两å�¯ã€‚
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